I thought I had seen it all…a Roman soldier since I was 16 years old, now a centurion for many years, I really thought I had seen it all.  Criminals and prisoners beaten to the point of death, my men thinking up the cruelest ways to inflict pain, my superiors giving order upon order to nail the condemned to their crosses.  You think that graphic images you’ve seen have warped your sense of humanity and pain?  Ha, maybe they have, but I guarantee that no one sitting here today has seen anything close to what I’ve seen, heard, and smelled.  And you know what?  None of it bothered me anymore.  I was as tough as they came.  When I’d lie down at night, nothing prevented me from going to sleep.  Calloused?  Well, maybe…but for a Roman centurion, that was a good thing.

And so it was surprising the day I felt…I guess you’d call it uneasy…unsettled about what was going on.  The day the shedding of blood had an affect on me.  The day I followed my orders like any other, but the day my gut just told me something was wrong.  It was a day that you are all probably quite familiar with.  The day that Jesus of Nazareth was sentenced to be crucified.

Have you heard the story?  How Pilate was trying to get him off the hook, but for political reasons decided to let the Jews have their way?  Now mind you, it was a little strange knowing that Roman justice had really not taken place, but that didn’t bother me all that much.  I had certainly seen that happen before.  And so I took my orders and let my men have a little bit of fun with him.  Pilate wanted us to show everyone what kind of a pathetic king this really was, and so we took Jesus to the Praetorium and mocked him.

We gave him a purple robe to make him look “majestic.”  We gave him a staff to make him look “powerful.”  We topped it all off with a crown to really make him look the part.  And then over and over again, we’d take turns bowing to him and calling out, “Hail, king of the Jews!”  We’d strike him.  We’d spit on him.  We certainly took away any notion that this could possibly be a king.

The mockery went on for some time, but soon my men grew tired of it.  You see, usually the prisoners would fuel my men’s desire to beat and scorn them.  They would spit back.  They would try to break free.  They would yell out curses on my men, but Jesus did none of these things.  He just didn’t retaliate and react like everyone else did.  And that’s where it started…that’s where that gut feeling started, that today I was going to see something that in all my years I had never seen before.

With Jesus beaten and bloody, Pilate presented him to the crowd one more time.  I can still remember their words. “We have no king but Ceasar,” they shouted, “Crucify him!  Crucify him!”  And with that, we were given the orders to take him to Golgatha to crucify him.

I told my men to lead him to the place of the Skull, by the other two criminals being crucified, and I would meet them there after I attended to a task Pilate gave me.  You see, I don’t think I was the only one feeling uncomfortable about this.  When I met with Pilate in his private quarters he continued to make the motion like he was washing his hands.  I could tell he was distraught, and he ordered me to make a sign to put on the top of Jesus’ cross reading exactly, “JESUS OF NAZARETH, THE KING OF THE JEWS.”

By the time I made it to the top of the hill, my men had followed their orders and had Jesus nailed to the cross.  I posted the sign at the top, and the cross was then lifted to its upright position.  It was about the third hour, about 9AM, when his crucifixion began.  And as long as I live, I’ll never forget the next 6 hours.

From about 9 until noon, the ridiculing didn’t stop.  Some shouted, “You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself! Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God!”  Others scoffed, “He saved others, but he can’t save himself!”  Sure there were some close family and friends wailing at the foot of the cross, but the amount of people still mocking Jesus was unreal.  What did this guy possibly do to make so many people hate him?  But, did he yell back with anger?  Did he shower the crowd with spit?  (Pause)  No.  Rather love poured from this man’s mouth.  “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”  And he said that to the people torturing him!  And to the criminal on his side, a man I would have thought was going to hell for a life of crime, he comforted, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.”  And I thought I had seen it all!

By this time, it was about noon, the middle of the day, and it became extremely dark outside.  I’m not talking about the sun going behind a cloud, I’m talking about the sun not shining.  It was dark.  It was eerie.  And when I had thought I’d seen it all, in the darkness Jesus cried, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?”—which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

Now, I told you before, that I’ve seen agony and I’ve seen suffering, but I’ve never seen or heard anything like this!!  This sounded like pure torture.  Of a kind that none of us could endure.  Of a kind that none of us will need to endure.

I remember needing to sit down and so I found a rock nearby and just thought a moment about the events of the day.  Thought about how something just wasn’t right.  What is happening?  What is going on?  Like I said, I’d never felt this way before.  “C’mon, this is business.  You’re a centurion.  You deal with this stuff everyday.”  But no matter what I told myself, it just wasn’t convincing.

When I made my way back to the cross, I heard Jesus confidently announce, “It is finished.”  And then in a loud voice he cried out, “’Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.’ When he had said this, he breathed his last” and gave up his spirit.

Like I’ve already told you, I really thought by now I had seen it all. (slow pace) But no joke, at that very moment, the earth shook like never before.  I stumbled over to the rock I had been sitting on, and as I grabbed for it, the earthquake caused even this rock to shatter into pieces.  After falling to the ground, I raised my head up, and you’ll never guess what I saw.  You probably won’t even believe me…you’ll probably think I’m crazy, but I’m gotta tell you anyways.  I saw a man, whom I crucified 3 years ago, walking past me.  Dead people, yes dead people, were coming out of their tombs!

The darkness was horrifying, but now this?  I can hardly even put into words what I was thinking.  Was this the end of it all?  Would I survive?  Would I live to tell my kids and grandkids about this?  And so I did what any great Roman centurion would do when confronted with a situation like this. (pause) I curled up in a ball and tears ran down my face.  Yes, this was even too much for one of Rome’s greatest warriors to handle.  And it was at that lowest point, that most humbling moment, that I realized why this day was different than any other.  I realized what caused that upset stomach.  I realized why things just didn’t feel right. 

Suddenly the earthquake ceased, and I immediately stood up and went running over to the rest of my men, who, too, were cowering on the ground.  They looked at me, waiting for an explanation…an explanation I could hold in no longer.  The evidence was convincing and the verdict was clear,“Surely this man was the Son of God!”

It was the first night in all my years as a soldier that I couldn’t get any sleep, nor did I try.  I wandered the streets.  I found places to sit and meditate.  I walked past the place his cross stood.  Do you know how it feels to be guilty of crucifying the Son of God?  Do you know how it feels? 

I’m guessing you sure do know how it feels, because as you look at God’s law, as you look at how God wants you to live, how God wants you to speak, how God wants you to think, you realize that you’re just as guilty as I am.  Did you pound the nail through his hands?  No, (pause) but you might as well have as you go around throwing out his name disrespectfully, when you walk around so prideful as though God owes you something, when you treat his Word and worship like it’s just another weekly task.  So I ask you again, do you know how it feels to be guilty of crucifying the Son of God?

When I watched as his Father abandoned him on the cross, I knew it wasn’t because of what he did. (pause) His Father abandoned him for what I did, (pause) for what you did. (slow) I saw Jesus suffer the punishment for our sins. 

Begrudgingly?  Never.  Willingly?  Most certainly!  When they told him to get down from the cross if he really was the Son of God, he most certainly could have.  Like the sign I made said, he was the King of the Jews.  He might not have looked like it, but he was the King of kings, Lord of lords, the Son of the Living God.  Oh yes, he could have come down, but love kept him nailed to that tree.

And friends, that’s why I can’t sleep.  And that’s why my family can’t sleep.  And that’s why my friends can’t sleep.  Because I keep waking them up and telling them what I saw…what I heard.  Remember?  He prayed, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.”  Friends, do you know what this means?  This means that he has forgiven me, of all people, me, who did such horrible things to him.  Me, who seemed so strong and powerful, but who was really too big of a coward to stand up for him.  Me.  And this means that he has forgiven you.  Each and every one of you!  You, for all those times that you too have mocked God by mistreating his name, you for all those times you served yourself rather than others, you for all those times you’ve disrespected his Word.  Forgiveness if yours!

Don’t let your family members go to bed tonight without knowing that…without reassuring them.  Don’t hesitate to talk to your friends and let them know about this wonderful news.  Our sleepless nights filled with calloused hearts and guilt for sin are long over, but our sleepless nights filled with joy have just begun.

Because as we fix our eyes on Jesus, we find joy as we look at that cross, because it was there that our Savior pleaded, “Father, forgive them.”  As you look at that cross and remember your forgiveness, I can confidently tell you that you have seen it all!  Amen.

The peace of God that passes all understanding keep our and minds through faith in Christ Jesus.  Amen.